[briwood]

Caption: First flight leaves Kaslo for Carlyle Lodge

Longish introduction which may seem to have little to do with subject at hand:

I've realized that there are a number of obstacles hindering my fledgling
movement to introduce Backcountry Touring as an Olympic event. For
starters, many Olympic host cities will not be able to provide the
large, and geographically diverse playing field required: I envision
the event starting at Trader Joe's at 8:53pm. Competitors have 7
minutes before closing to purchase all of the food necessary to
sustain them over the course of the gruelling ordeal. Following the
shopping phase the athletes (teams of 3) pile into a vehicle (not to
exceed the size of a Subaru Outback), return to a base for gear
loading, and then embark on a 5 hour road trip crossing a minimum of 2
mountain passes. During the journey a at least one pair of skins must
be re-glued. A number of other event details remain under
debate... I'd say that competitors should be prepared for: navigation
challenges, stove repair, conflicting priorities among teammates and a
minimum of 3 nightly pee breaks between the hours of 12am and 4am. In
addition to being a race, this event will be judged based on 1)
quality of turns 2) severity of hardship endured and 3) participant
desire to repeat the experience...and a special fourth category:
Impressiveness of photos and bravado in post-event TelemarkTips
postings.


Caption: Carlyle Lodge and the Kootenays

As I reflect on the riveting suspense this would provide spectators, I
realize that my recent experience with Canadian "luxury lodge touring"
had about as little in common with this event, as Heavenly Ski Resort
does with Mt. Tom. Is this the beginning of the end? Have I sold
out? What does it mean that I enjoyed my fully guided and catered
trip to Carlyle Lodge as much as a sorority coed enjoys Club Med
Cancun?


Caption: "I'm sorry Clivus, I've met someone else."

Having recently shed my status as lodge touring virgin, I probably
don't have much new information for the "more experienced" (slutty?)
members of the audience. Nevertheless, let's begin with bodily
functions: One of the gems of Carlyle is its night time pee toilet. I
must confess that I snuck visits to this "night time" facility several
times during daylight hours (please keep this under wraps!) It's hard
to describe with mere words the joy of a backcountry setting
combined with the possibility of barefoot, boxer-clad forays to the
head. Of special note is the fact that male visitors to the pee-toilet
will be confronted with a decorum test in the form of a sign strongly
discouraging a standing position. ("...the door is closed...it's the
middle of the night...no one will know...my aim is true...I could
always wipe the rim...")



I guess this is typical, but the hosts at Carlyle have thought of
everything: They've even chosen the most scenic location for outdoor
pee endeavors.


Caption: Robin Presenting Coconut Shirmp Curry

I'll leave the transition from urination to coffee to your
imagination. Some of my favorite trip moments (outside of skiing -
which maybe we'll get to here) were throwing back my down comforter
and stumbling out into the Selkirk morning to be greeted by the aroma
of Oso Negro coffee and the fruits of our caterer Robin's
early-morning kitchen efforts. I feasted on freshly baked cinnamon
buns with pecans, crepes with kiwi fruit salad and yogurt and
energy-packed rice-based hot cereal. An hour later I'd be handed a
lunch box containing my choice of a fresh garden wrap or sandwich with
optional supplements such as homemade brownies, crisp apples, mini
mandarins, and, my new favorite dried meat product, some kind of
smashed German pepperoni called something like "Longenjaeger." Also
deserving special note were the home made "energy bars." (That recipe
is from Whitewater Cooks. Apparently the Whitewater ski "hill" near
Nelson, BC has exceptional food...) Dinners were off the hook. The
week started with Coconut Curry Shrimp and ended with NY Steaks.


Caption: Leni, Jeff and Yukon

Among the many pleasures of Carlyle was the warm company and stalwart
leadership of our hosts and guides Jeff Gfroerer, Leni Neumeier and
Yukon (their a 14-year-old Australian Shepard/Collie who set the pace
on the climbs and never strayed from the fall line on the downhills.)
Jeff did a great job of making every day fun while keeping a careful
eye on safety and schedule. Leni's consistent sunshiny cheerfulness never ceased to amaze. That said, we got acquainted with Leni's focused, serious side early in the week when she lead us in avalanche rescue scenarios. (Carlyle, by the way, has it's very own BCA beacon basin which many of us made use of throughout the week - when we still had
energy after the tours.)


Caption: Mark heating up his Voile Carbon Surf so he can reglue the topsheet.

We shared the hut with a great group of free heelers hailing from all
over Mark and Theresa from Olympia, WA, Cornelia from a town in Canada
that sounds like "Cologne", Irene from Calgary, and Jerry from
Virginia. It was a pleasure!

We've now reached the point where, in the TeleTips tradition, this
trip report devolves into a slew of pictures. (I'm sure you are all relieved!) We had 6 bluebird and
one partially cloudy day. This meant that we were not skiing insane,
waist-deep pow, but we thoroughly enjoyed the north facing slopes and
the tree glades.


Caption: Justin DeSantis descending into 12 Mile Basin


Caption: Jen Evans on "Play Misty for Me" (north side of Misty)


Caption: We discovered some good things about surface hoar. Great turning!


Caption: Justin in Gold Mine


Caption: Yukon poaching my line!





Caption: Lunch at Prospector Col




Caption: Justin on Lower Quad-ra-phobia


Caption: Jeff waiting for stragglers below Mt. Heyland


Caption: Brian lunching at Mt. Heyland


Caption: Cornelia and Irene




Caption: Gettin' after it in the tree glades below Heyland

4 pm found use back at the lodge gorging on Robin's appetizers,
drinking a beer...


Caption: Leni, Jeff and Mark

... and watching some video of the day's turns.


Caption: Irene, Jerry, Justin and Jen

Then it
was time to hit the sauna and the bucket shower before dinner. As an
added bonus I enjoyed viewing my best full lunar eclipse ever from the sauna
deck.

We attempted to compensate for the absence of our celestial neighbor
with our impressively luminous white asses.

(Edit: I was asked to remove this photo.)

Full Album: http://gallery.nwood.org/main.php?g2_itemId=2632

[Sierra Fred]

Wow. Talk about where the sun don't shine.

Enjoyed the TR Brian, especially the opening.
_________________
Heh, I know this place. You know you are on a telemark site when peep's concerns about new gear center on the "downside" that the new gear might make skiing somehow easier or different.
-Cowdog, Sept 8, 2009

[mchin]

I really enjoyed reading this TR Brian, great job!

The last photo reminds me that one day I really need to get that Lassen viddie of you up on Ttips.....
_________________

[hutguy]

What??? No photos of women's bare butts for equal opportunity leering?
_________________
Creeds and doctrines are like a raft to get you to the other shore and then to relinquish. Neither cling to the raft or reject it when drowning. Even better, become a strong swimmer.

Shakyamuni Buddha. The diamond sutra

[Danno]

excellent TR, even considering that last photo.
_________________
"anecdotes are fine assbaggery is not"
"I don't really think she's trolling, more like tra-la-la-la-ling."
"I'm comfortable misreading the tone of posts in a way which suits me."
"Alas, I've been born a Sisyphus for love."

[granpa]

Great TR...perhaps more a candidate for the amazing race than the olympics

[briwood]

Removed last photo by request. It showed some anonymous male buttocks.

[TeleMcturn]

Wow! that looks great. Nice photos. I've done a few Golden Alpine trips, from your pics they're a bit more spartan than the luxury liner of Carlyle. We're doing our own food too, so it sounds like the bar is set pretty high. Do you know if we can get a keg in Kaslo and fly it in with us? We're heading up there from Salt lake in 2 weeks, and I was going to bring beer from the states unless something like that was available...

[mike s]

TeleMctuun there is a limit to the alcohol that can be taken across the border. I think it is a 12 pack per person in the car. You should look into this before you leav Salt Lake.

[briwood]

The weight limit for the helicopter was 65lbs per person. A keg is probably going push you over that.

The 3 of us brought a case of beer and 6 bottles of wine and were well under the limit. (We might be lighter drinkers than some...)

[cleopatra]

Nice Brian -

Whaaattt?!? ... there aren't any photos of your naked a*s? That would be good penance

[cleopatra]

Good place to leer at both the foreground and the background...

http://assesinopenspaces.blogspot.com/

[briwood]

Last time I tried to take a picture of my own ass I found it very difficult...

...I guess that's what the timer is for...